From everywhere else except this valley!

Having been taken ill on a random Tuesday in June with amazingly high blood pressure the botton number was 139 (no joke!) I have been invalided out since. So some time was spend going through my diary and just cutting everything out. I went on the retreat I was supposed to lead and just spend the time in my room asleep.
It seemed from this experience that I had two choices. I could carry on overeating, drinking and generally self neglecting or I could do something about it. Fortunately I have chosen the later which I hope will mean a more healthy and happier long term future. But the time off has given me an opportunity to think a little more deeply between what is the essential priestly minstry that God has called me too and how effectively I am to live it out. Being out of my unusual context for a while with none of the badges of office no clerical collar, no eucharistic presidency it gave me the first major break of any significance since my ordination to the priesthood some four years ago. Realsing if I was ever to feel any better it was better to get away rather than hide in the vicarage I packed my rucksack and headed off. During my leave I have had the good fortune to attend some truly magnificent worship at St Bride's Liverpool. This reflected the nature of the whole community as being a priestly body with far less emphasis on the man or woman at the front. There was informality discussion and an opportunity for everyone to take part. This made me think further of how radically the worship and the role of facilitating and enabling that need to change in my present ministerial context for real growth to occur both inside and outside the church, to have real inclusive worship and real collaborative ministry rather than just think changing the rite from the Book of Common Prayer (1984) to the 2004 new rite is somehow radical. In fact the way it was done was rather like rearranging the chairs on the deck of the titanic in fact it just as well be 1662 for all the sense it would make to newcomers. So there is a challenge and a challenge indeed but one that is worth embracing as the alternative is spiritually death probably for me first and then the rest of the church after.

Anyway there is a while yet before my return but it is good to have a chance to reflect on some of the issues that preoccupy at the moment!